Devotionals - Image copyright 2007 Ron Hedberg

TodaysGodlyWoman.com

Refreshing the Relationship - Marriage

Day 1 - As Long As We Both Shall Live

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE: MARK 10:9

“Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

TODAY’S CHAT DEVOTIONAL

Bill Bennett, former secretary of education, tells the story of attending the wedding of a colleague. The couple pledged to stay together for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health – so long as they both shall LOVE. According to the story - Bennett couldn’t resist giving a wedding gift that beautifully reflects this kind of throwaway, quasi-commitment: He sent the newlyweds a box of paper plates.

When you think about it, we’re really not all that committed to much these days. The 30-year company employee is becoming a thing of the past. We transfer churches easily and often. In our mobile society where we’re frequently not in one place long enough for lasting relationships, friendships turn over without a thought. Athletes are not committed to a team, teams move around and fans go with whoever is the winner at the moment.

This mindset comes right into our marriages. I wonder how many couples really know what they’re doing when on their wedding day they stand at the altar, hold hands and look into each others’ eyes promising to have and to hold from this day forward. The reality is that we’ve promised before God to stay with each other through the great times, the difficult pregnancies and unexpected job changes. Through surgery and miscarriage – depression and disappointment - snoring and bad breath.

We promise not only to stay together through all these times but also to hold each other through them all….to love and honor and comfort each other for the rest of our lives. In other words – we promise to be committed. Regardless of what the world tells us, commitment is the first fundamental of a magnificent marriage – it is the decision to hang in there – NO MATTER WHAT.

In Genesis 2:24 the Bible gives the description of marriage from God’s point of view which is that the man and woman become one – bone of bone and flesh of flesh – a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife –

To cleave means to be glued together like two pieces of paper.

Have you ever tried to tear apart two sheets of paper that have been glued together? It is impossible to do that without causing huge damage to BOTH papers. So it is with marriage.

Jesus taught very clearly about the commitment of marriage in Mark 10. He re-states the Genesis passage about cleaving – saying that in marriage the man and woman become one flesh, reinforcing the point by noting – they are no longer two, but one. Meditate on today’s Scripture in light of your own marriage – Jesus’ words recorded in Mark 10:9 = Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.

These are strong important words of commitment. What God brings together, no man should tear apart – marriage is God’s idea and once you say I DO – it is God’s will from that point on that you are committed to stay together AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE.

My Personal Reflection on Today's Lesson

Circle key words or phrases in today’s Bible reading. Then reflect on the following:

What message do these words or phrases have for me?
What new or re-newed insight did I gain from the readings or today’s thought?
What encouragement does God have for me today?

My Response to God Today

Write out a prayer to God, telling him what you learned today and asking him to meet a specific need in your life.

Day 2 - The Communication Challenge

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE: JAMES 1:19-20

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

TODAY’S CHAT DEVOTIONAL

In 1976 our family moved to Sao Paulo, Brazil and I had to learn a new language. It wasn’t easy! I made many mistakes over the years. When I was in language school the story was told of an American tourist traveling by bus in a remote area of Brazil where no one spoke English. The tour bus stopped at a small roadside stand and because it was hot he decided he’d like to have some ice cream. Speaking no Portuguese the traveler approached the counter and very slowly asked the waiter, in English, for some ice cream. Of course the Brazilian didn’t understand him so the tourist asked again – this time slower and more deliberately. Again he didn’t understand so the tourist raised his voice and in his clearest English asked for some ice cream. This continued with the tourist raising his voice a pitch with each try until he was beginning to get a little hot under the collar. The waiter continued to shrug his shoulders and shake his head not understanding the request until the tourist in anger pounded on the counter and demanded ICE CREAM. Still not being understood the tourist walked away from the stand in a huff and went back to the bus muttering under his breath about the stupidity of the Brazilians.

You may shake your head at this poor tourist – but there’s a lesson to learn here. How often do you and your husband communicate by saying the same thing over and over again – but not getting through? If you’re struggling in the area of communication in your marriage, rather than ratcheting up volume in a language your spouse doesn’t understand – why not make an effort to learn his language?

We’re talking about magnificent marriages this week. And to have a magnificent marriage we need to be good communicators. To help us in this area take a look at today’s Scripture, James 1:19-20. It says – …Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

Did you hear that? Quick to listen. Slow to speak. No doubt you and your husband have different ways of communicating, in a sense, you speak different languages. If you don’t take the time to listen and learn the language that best communicates with your husband, you often end up speaking louder and louder in your own language, getting more and more angry. When we’re consistently not being heard because we’re not being understood one or the other of us hits the table with our fist, turns and walks out in a huff accusing the other of stupidity.

O dear friend, take time this week to talk to your husband about your communicating styles. Be quick to listen to him and learn to speak his language. And encourage him to do the same for you. Then you will live the righteous life God desires for you and you will also have a magnificent marriage.

My Personal Reflection on Today's Lesson

Circle key words or phrases in today’s Bible reading. Then reflect on the following:

What message do these words or phrases have for me?
What new or re-newed insight did I gain from the readings or today’s thought?
What encouragement does God have for me today?

My Response to God Today

Write out a prayer to God, telling him what you learned today and asking him to meet a specific need in your life.

Day 3 - Good Manners in Marriage

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE: JAMES 3: 17-18

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

TODAY’S CHAT DEVOTIONAL

What do you do when you have guests coming? Do you clean the house…. put fresh sheets on the bed….dust a little more than usual….plan a menu of special meals? Do you sometimes even put a flower arrangement in the guestroom? I know I do. If I know company’s coming I plan ahead and put more effort into some things that I normally don’t think I have time for. And what about when your guests arrive do you come home from work a little earlier, dress a little sharper, speak a little softer? When you think about it, most of us go the extra mile for those who come to stay with us for awhile.

Have you ever wondered why we so often treat guests better than we do the person we love more than anyone on this earth – our spouse? Dr. James Dobson has said – We have but one short life to live, yet we contaminate it with bickering and insults and angry words. If we fully comprehended the brevity of life, our greatest desire would be to please God and to serve one another. And yet so often we scrape and claw for power and demand the best for ourselves – even in our marriages. I might add – especially in our marriages.

To have a magnificent marriage we must demonstrate good manners toward each other. Today’s Scripture gives us a guideline to follow which will help us live more considerately with one another as man and wife. James 3:17-18 describes some characteristics of good manners. It mentions such things as being peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, impartial and sincere. It goes on to say that peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. I urge you to take time to read the whole chapter of James 3 and think about how you can apply what you read to your marriage.

To be considerate of one another we need to think ahead, clean up our act and add a few extra touches to what we normally do. We can’t take each other for granted. Good manners include such things as being considerate of one another and putting the other’s needs before your own. Good manners do say “I’m sorry” and “excuse me”.

We live in a very competitive world and this competitive attitude easily works its way into our marriages. But the attitude necessary for a great marriage is one of co-operation and consideration not competition.

Remember to say even the simple words like “please” and “thank you” at home. Let the Lord Jesus Christ create in you the attitudes of co-operation and consideration. When you and your husband have good manners your home will be more peaceful, you will reap a harvest of righteousness and you will be on your way to a magnificent marriage.

Don’t treat your guests better than your spouse.

My Personal Reflection on Today's Lesson

Circle key words or phrases in today’s Bible reading. Then reflect on the following:

What message do these words or phrases have for me?
What new or re-newed insight did I gain from the readings or today’s thought?
What encouragement does God have for me today?

My Response to God Today

Write out a prayer to God, telling him what you learned today and asking him to meet a specific need in your life.

Day 4 - A Little Common Sense Will Go a Long Way

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE: PROVERBS 9:10

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

TODAY’S CHAT DEVOTIONAL

When you think about it, common sense is not all that common. For example, when it comes to marriage some say a woman marries a man thinking she will change him. And a man marries a woman hoping she’ll NEVER change. O yes, a little common sense will go a long way toward a great marriage.

To gain a realistic perspective on your marriage I recommend putting the Serenity Prayer to good use. Remember it? God, Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Let’s take a close look at the three parts of this prayer. First, in every marriage there are certain things that simply are not going to change. The question is can you accept them. Take a look at your marriage and evaluate what, realistically, is not changeable. Will your husband ever be able to meet all of your needs? Will you ever be a perfect woman? What about such things as your age difference or personality types? How about the kids? Make a list of those things that won’t change and ask God to help you accept them. Accepting the unchangeable will bring a certain serenity into your heart and into your marriage.

Now you can ask, what can we change? Could you be more flexible with your schedules? Can you improve communication skills or adjust how you relate to the in-laws? Because the familiar is comfortable we can get stuck in some unhealthy routines. It takes courage to make changes in order to try something new and unfamiliar. Ask God for that courage.

And then most importantly, pray for the wisdom and common sense to distinguish between the changeable and the unchangeable. God will give you this wisdom. Our Scripture today is an important reminder of where godly wisdom comes from. It is the familiar Proverbs 9:10 – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

If you are a Christian you don’t want just any kind of wisdom. You want the kind of wisdom that comes from God. Proverbs 9:10 clearly points out two means to this wisdom. The first is to fear the Lord. Bow before God in awesome reverence. Make Him the Lord of your life and the Lord of your marriage. Secondly, gain knowledge of the Holy One by reading the Bible and spending time with the Lord in prayer – individually and as a couple. This kind of knowledgeable, reverent relationship with God through Jesus Christ will allow you and your husband to base your relationship on godly wisdom.

Good ole common sense – it’s a key ingredient to a magnificent marriage. And it begins with godly wisdom.

My Personal Reflection on Today's Lesson

Circle key words or phrases in today’s Bible reading. Then reflect on the following:

What message do these words or phrases have for me?
What new or re-newed insight did I gain from the readings or today’s thought?
What encouragement does God have for me today?

My Response to God Today

Write out a prayer to God, telling him what you learned today and asking him to meet a specific need in your life.

Day 5 - The Best is Yet to Come!

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE: JOHN 2:1-11

On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”

“Dear woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.”

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.

Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.

Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

This, the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus performed at Cana in Galilee. He thus revealed his glory, and his disciples put their faith in him.

TODAY’S CHAT DEVOTIONAL

Your marriage is important to Jesus! He wants to be a part of your relationship and He is willing and more than able to do something very special for you and your husband. If your marriage needs refreshment take time to read today’s Scripture, John 2:1-11. This is the passage that tells of the first miracle Jesus performed. It took place at a wedding feast where our Lord changed water into wine. During the celebration when the wine ran out and it looked like there would be no more, Jesus miraculously provided. He took plain old water and turned it into vintage wine. And the last wine of the feast was far better than the first!

Maybe today you feel like you and your spouse are just about to the end of the festival. The wine has run out and you are left with dull lifeless water. Let me tell you, Jesus is ready and able to perform a miracle for you. But in order for him to do that you must invite Him into your marriage. Jesus wants to come to the festival to really be a part of your marriage – not just a nodding acknowledgement on Sundays or grace before meals. He wants you to make him the centerpiece of your marriage and the best way my husband and I have discovered to do this is to pray together.

Now I know this is not as easy as it sounds. Because most couples have trouble praying together, other than at meal times, I’ve come to believe that there must be great power in a man and wife praying together and the enemy will do anything possible to keep that from happening. So you must be persistent.

My husband, Doug, and I have made prayer a part of our marriage, but like for most couples it hasn’t been easy. I admit I’ve nagged my husband to pray with me and have said things that weren’t really conducive to a good prayer time together. And Doug has confessed that at first it was difficult for him to pray with me out loud. He’s said it made him feel so vulnerable and he didn’t like being so exposed. At crisis points over the years it hasn’t been as difficult as making this a normal part of our marriage – but I must tell you that we’ve kept at it and now for over 30 years – praying together, openly, honestly, conversationally, before God has been the key to our marriage. It’s not just the two of us in the relationship. There is a third party – the Lord Jesus.

O my friend, Jesus Christ wants your marriage to be more exciting, more romantic, more joyful, than it was in the beginning. If you’re not more in love with your husband today than you were last year….you need a miracle.

Invite Jesus into your marriage and ask him to change flat tasteless water into rich magnificent wine. He won’t disappoint you.

With Christ in your marriage the best is yet to come!

My Personal Reflection on Today's Lesson

Circle key words or phrases in today’s Bible reading. Then reflect on the following:

What message do these words or phrases have for me?
What new or re-newed insight did I gain from the readings or today’s thought?
What encouragement does God have for me today?

My Response to God Today

Write out a prayer to God, telling him what you learned today and asking him to meet a specific need in your life.